Re: Turbaconducken & C's High Hopes for the Future

S -

TURRR-BAY-KON-DACKUHN! 

…

This is possibly the meanest thing you have ever done to me - although in retrospect, I totally deserve it for casting the first stone. 

I have had a taste of my own medicine and Lord, it is a bitter pill to swallow. :( 

On that note, something else that's been a bitter pill for me to swallow: This picture of Lauren Conrad, whose hair is equal, perfect amounts of ombre, curl, color and length. 

Observe:

I NEED YOU, LAUREN CONRAD'S HAIR. COME TO MEEE..

Have you heard of Visa payWave (I promise I'm still on the same page), where you basically get to wave your credit card at things you want to buy and it automatically deducts the amount from your account? 

Well, I am eagerly awaiting the day things get so advanced that I get to wave my hair at this image of Lauren and automatically get the length and pigmentation deducted into the exact replica of Ms. Conrad's luxuriant mane. 

Exactly like Visa payWave ... only better. 

Optimistic for the Future,

C

P.S. Thanks for the emergency numbers (you are such a helpful little bean!), but I'm pretty sure dialing 999 doesn't work around these parts. My local emergency number is 6 digits long (OHGODWHY) and heck if I know what it is - I have trouble keeping more than 5 birthdays logged into my brain at any given time, so ... you know ... I'd be about as useful as that turbaconducken in an emergency.

P.P.S. On second thought, at least eating a turbaconducken fills you up. It probably would be really useful in an emergency...

P.P.P.S. Sorry about all the Post Scripts, BUT WHY IS IT SO HARD TO STOP SAYING TURBACONDUCKEN?

All in.

Salutations C,

I call your stroopwafels and raise you a turbaconducken (turkey-bacon-duck-chicken, for those less heart attack prone).

Image courtesy of Bacon Today

I honestly think it could do with some cheese on top - why not add some calcium to your protein right?

Anyway, I hope you have emergency services on speed dial because I'm pretty certain after a couple of servings of this magical, somewhat supernatural feast, the left side of your body will go numb and you will most likely be clutching your heart, struggling for breath. I think this is formally known as a heart attack.

Speaking of emergency services, are you aware of what number to dial in case something does happen? Growing up oblivious to perils of real life, I've never actually (and hopefully never will) had to call for an ambulance. Notice how all this while I have been talking about emergency services, I have avoided typing an actual number? That is because I do not know what number to dial if something should *knocks on wood* happen.

It is ingrained in me (probably the result of too much television) that the number to dial when in an emergent situation is 911. However, I have recently learnt that this is not the case (I may or may not be secretly hoping that this is also news to you). It turns out that this number in Australia in fact 000 and in Malaysia it is 999 and in Brunei, well... it's not on the list (worrying).

You're welcome.

- S.

This is inconvenient

Dear S,

This is neither here nor there, but I am suddenly craving stroopwafels.

In case you weren’t even thinking about stroopwafels, I have thoughtfully decided to include a picture for you.

I don't know who these belong to, but I want them.

 

Please forgive me.

C

Welcome to Project Mintbean!

Greetings.

We weren't entirely sure how to begin, so we decided to share joint custody over the very first post.

This way if you decide that you do not enjoy our unparalleled wit and humour (though, you really shouldn't judge us so quickly, this is afterall our very first post) that we would both share the burden of such hurtful, unjust opinions.  

Keep your eyes peeled for more dazzling witticisms to follow in the many days to come. 

Love,

S & C