Tips For People Who Live in the Fast Lane

Put your face on in 5 minutes. [here]

Sort out your tresses in a jiffy. [here]

Get day-to-night ready in under 5 minutes. [here]

Just a Note

So just a note to say I'm back on the island and all is well apart from the fact that I seem to have picked up the nasty habit of bursting into tears whilst wailing “I MISS TRIPLE CREAM BRIE AND SALTY CHEDDAR” in heaving sobs.

I’m not sure, but I think this means I need to be sedated.

It also probably means I have become a cheese snob, a fact that you will probably attest to if you follow us on Instagram.

Melbourne was amazing as usual – revisiting my precious haunts, treading precariously on haphazard cobblestones, winding in and out of hidden shops, sitting in the safety of an alleyway with a crusty roast beef baguette, the milky bitter tang of a latte saturating my mouth …

…

…

Excuse me whilst I retreat into a corner and weep to return to Melbourne.

Friday, Friday, Friday

Sass & Bide top, Sportsgirl shorts, Diva necklace, Low Luv bracelet, Peter Sheppard shoes, Mulberry Alexa satchel

I'm headed southwards to Melbourne tomorrow for the next 10 days, and all I can really think of is: SHOP SHOP SHOP SHOPSHOPSHOPSHOSOHSPSHOSPHOSHPSH... 

You should probably expect about zero posts from my corner in this time.

I promise I'll try to tweet.

... Maybe.

Yay or Nay: Alexander Wang Rafael bag

A.W Rafael bag in Red (£261.25 here)

A.W Rafael Hagfish bag in Oxblood (£279.58 here)

Still in lust with this bag, but I can't decide if I should take the plunge or not, even after the hefty 50% discount over on that discounted online mecca of all designer goods, theOutnet.com.

What do you guys think? Yay or nay? Oxblood or Red?

HELP!

Holiday Haul: Singapore Edition

Just got back from a two-day trip to Singapore, and I'm already missing breakfasts at Wild Honey and a couple of faces I've grown severely attached to since my days in Melbourne when the Telstra store on the corner of Bourke and Swanston was still known as Nike. 

I wish I had pictorial evidence of my trip, but I am clearly a bad blogger who was way more interested in stuffing my face and reminiscing about the days of yore like an old woman, than I was about documenting stuff.

So I've decided to regale you with a haul instead. 

... I now realize there is a very real reason as to why people recommend numbering items in photos. 

This may or may not get complicated and vaguely Where's-Wally-esque, so please don't hate me.

• Oxblood bag - YSL Muse 2
• Zara T-bar flats
• Zara long-line sleeveless blazer
• Zara shorts
• miscellaneous skincare products: Lancome UV Expert sunscreen & Avene eye-cream and moisturiser
• (continued below)

L-R: Mango printed blouse, Cotton On grey & white tees, Zara 'Yoko Ono' tee, Rich & Stack 'Take a Swing' necklace in Brown

Topshop collar pins

You guys! Remember the time I was obsessing over Audrina Patridge's sideways initial necklace?

Well, my sister from another mother a.k.a the brains behind up-and-coming online jewelry store Rich & Stack decided to put me out of my misery and added a little something to my Christmas order:

SIDEWAYS INITIAL NECKLACE!

She took one look at that post and messaged me in a Singapore Minute: "OMG CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WANT A SIDEWAYS INITIAL NECKLACE! I BOUGHT A SIDEWAYS INITIAL NECKLACE WHEN I WAS IN KOREA AND IT'S GOT ONE OF YOUR INITIALS ON IT, DO YOU WANT IT?"

And of course, I was hesitant at first 'cos manners are important: "OMG THAT'S SO AWESOME I FREAKING WANT IT!!!"

Then we proceeded to babble incoherently on about mental bluetooth syncing and other such random snippets that usually fill our Whatsapp windows because ... that's normal, right?

But I digress. You guys need to click here ASAP because she has some crazy Christmas deals happening now.

... You're welcome.

SOS @ WEDDING DINNER

C Mintbean <c.mintbean@gmail.com> wrote:

8:23 PM (16 hours ago)

to S


Hello S,

I feel as if we haven't spoken in forever. How are you doing? How is Gossip Girl progressing? On second thought, I take that back, don't tell me what's happening with Gossip Girl :(:(:(

If you were wondering, I am currently in that soul-grinding Hell-hole otherwise known as a Bornean Chinese Wedding dinner. 

Not to go into too many details here, but thus far, dinner has involved the juggling of empty wine bottles (reasonably cool), a re-enactment of that Gangnam Style music video (OH GOD WHY!!), awkward pelvic thrusts from the hired dancers (super questionable) and foxtrot karaoke from the 60's ... ON A LOOP (slay me). 

... I'd love to go on, but as you know, my Blackberry is being an a-hole and refuses to authenticate my damn e-mail address, which means I can't send e-mails via the normal e-mail function. 

As such, loading Gmail on the browser of my dumb 2x1.5" screen means that each individual letter on here is roughly the size of a breadcrumb and I can't really see what I'm typing.

I hope I am making sense, because I feel like all this box wine has gone to my head. I mean, I'm pretty sure it has. Once you start questioning your own sobriety, I'm like 100% sure that means you're definitely NOT sober ... right?

....... I had to find a way to cope somehow.

Drunky-tonks,

C.

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S Mintbean <s.mintbean@gmail.com> wrote:

8:55 PM (16 hours ago)

to C

Ah, Tipsy C, it has been awhile!

I think Tipsy C is one of my favourite C's - along with Enabling C and Flood-S-with-cute-animal-videos C of course.

This wedding sounds superbly entertaining! (Unfortunately, I can't say the same for the current season of Gossip Girl *flings Sage off the Brooklyn bridge*). You seriously go to the best weddings - between Techno Santa Claus, Techno Chef and now gyrating karaoke-ing dance fiends you could probably write a a very detailed manual on what not (unless I am 1. in attendance and 2. I am not related to you by blood) to do at your wedding.

I, on the other hand, have be Click Frenzying - when I say I have been Click Frenzying I actually mean I have clicking the refresh button in a frenzied fashion. Turns out Australia's answer to Cyber Monday was a utter disappointment, much like a missed call from the President (I'd imagine this would be pretty upsetting) :( 

All frenzied-out,

S

PS: Get an iPhone.

PPS: Hows the food?

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C Mintbean <c.mintbean@gmail.com> wrote:

9:57 PM (15 hours ago)

to S

Hello S!!!

Tipsy C was in town like an hour ago. I am considerably drunker now. I would caps everything here as is Drunk C's way, but doing it on a Blackberry is far too time-consuming so you need to imagine all of this is being tapped out like my keypad is stuck on caps lock. 

Are you imagining it?

........................... good.

Oooooo .... you're right I should totally write a manual on what not to do for weddings!!! I mean, I've attended so many by now I'm pretty sure that means I am an expert. At least I think so..,.,.... No, I'm sure. I am definitely an expert.

God. Somebody should pay me to write about all my wedding-attending experiences - that would be like the world's awesomest and most pointless read ever. Then I'd be super famous with my own talk show and everything and people will know me as the Wedding Whisperer and then at the slightest whisper of my name people will go OMG, YOU MEAN THE QUEEN OF WEDDING PLANNING, SHE'S ALL MAGIC LIKE A UNICORN .... typing all that in caps really used up all my energy I really wish I could see what I am typing.

All this damn foxtrot karaoke is getting to me. I hate foxtrot music. 

That's going to be the first chapter in my manual: NO FOXTROT MUSIC!!!!!!! - with this many exclamation marks because it is imperative that people know this.

INSPIRED!!!

- C

PS. Clickfrenzy was a cruel example straight out of Murphy's Law. 

PPS. Food is pretty crap. :( 

Z6FPQJYNFJEZ

Kickin' it casual

Firstly, I would like to bow down to each and every fashion blogger out there, especially those of you who take your own photos for your outfit posts. I truly believe all of you have the grace and balance of ballerinas with incredible core muscles who attend bikram yoga classes on the weekend.

How you manage to take stylish photos stealthily and effortlessly is both baffling to completely unfair to me. You are also most likely incredibly neat and tidy or are very good at hiding it - this in itself deserves a medal.

Attempting to keep up with the times I thought I'd give a timer shot a go, which, in hindsight was probably not the best idea considering the amount of hazardous wires that were on the ground (Good going, S).

This resulted in numerous shots that resembled the following photo (and a couple of stumped toes):

Others shots were just pictures of my disturbing derriere - no one needs to see those.

I would like to formally apologise for the slight slant in the photo, the loaf of bread my camera was sitting on wasn't very cooperative. 

How do you people do it?! 

My apologies, but mirror-shots will have to suffice for now.

Melbourne's weather has been terribly indecisive lately (when is it not...) so this light silk top by Witchery has become a constant companion. It's hooded for when it drizzles, fully zippable (permission to add word to vocab, C?) for when the wind blows and oh so slouchy!

Top: Witchery / Bag: Vjstyle / Shoes: Topshop

Apart from the realising the amount of effort that goes into a single outfit post, I also learnt the following:

a) Running to catch the camera timer is perilous to ones health.
b) I have a complete lack of balance.
c) It ain't easy wiping sunblock off a mirror.


 Thank God for the crop tool.