Kickin' it casual

Firstly, I would like to bow down to each and every fashion blogger out there, especially those of you who take your own photos for your outfit posts. I truly believe all of you have the grace and balance of ballerinas with incredible core muscles who attend bikram yoga classes on the weekend.

How you manage to take stylish photos stealthily and effortlessly is both baffling to completely unfair to me. You are also most likely incredibly neat and tidy or are very good at hiding it - this in itself deserves a medal.

Attempting to keep up with the times I thought I'd give a timer shot a go, which, in hindsight was probably not the best idea considering the amount of hazardous wires that were on the ground (Good going, S).

This resulted in numerous shots that resembled the following photo (and a couple of stumped toes):

Others shots were just pictures of my disturbing derriere - no one needs to see those.

I would like to formally apologise for the slight slant in the photo, the loaf of bread my camera was sitting on wasn't very cooperative. 

How do you people do it?! 

My apologies, but mirror-shots will have to suffice for now.

Melbourne's weather has been terribly indecisive lately (when is it not...) so this light silk top by Witchery has become a constant companion. It's hooded for when it drizzles, fully zippable (permission to add word to vocab, C?) for when the wind blows and oh so slouchy!

Top: Witchery / Bag: Vjstyle / Shoes: Topshop

Apart from the realising the amount of effort that goes into a single outfit post, I also learnt the following:

a) Running to catch the camera timer is perilous to ones health.
b) I have a complete lack of balance.
c) It ain't easy wiping sunblock off a mirror.


 Thank God for the crop tool.

Cesario X Prime, #sneakerfreaker #kicks

USD$120. Buy here.

Creative Recreation is celebrating 10 years of awesomeness with limited edition offerings of their flagship model, the Cesario X available in both High and Low cuts.

Only 150 pairs each are being released and if you're a size 8 (who wants to exchange feet?), then this prime cut (excuse the pun) of a shoe that fell straight out of sneaker-freaker heaven should be yours.

Gotta love that toe-strap that CR is so famous for.

Currently hating myself for being so slow on the uptake. WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING WITH MY LIFE?!

Going to go monitor the sneaker world with an eagle-eye now.

Menswear-Inspired: Aztec Print Edition

Topshop men's button-up shirt, Witchery belt & trousers, Rubi shoes, Casio watch, Longchamp bag

I haven't slept a wink over 10 hours in the past two days. 

This is disturbing to me on a number of different levels because a) I need a lot of sleep to feel even remotely human, and b) a lack of sleep messes heavily with my outfit choices. 

Suddenly, I find myself gravitating towards baggy pants with stretchy waists (they must be reminiscent of pyjamas at any cost), and who cares what I toss on over that just as long as nobody can see my waistband is elastic. 

I suppose I'm just lucky I'm clocking in my work hours on an island, where nobody really cares what you're dressed in, just as long as you've put on clothes for the day. But on that note, it was nice of Past C to have decided to put me in a button-up shirt today, so thumbs up to her. 

... Man. It's amazing I can still sort of finish writing this post up without typos, but I trust Apple's pedantic need to correct everything you're typing. As long as there are no red, squiggly lines in sight, I'm totes going to hit the Publish button ... and here's hoping you will forgive me if I'm being incoherent.

Delusions of Paris

Zara top and pants, Diva necklace, Sportsgirl ring, Cambridge Satchel 

In my mind, striped shirts are synonymous with Paris.

Not France, mind you.

Specifically, Paris.

Over the course of my life, I'm not exactly sure how I managed to come to this conclusion, but efforts to reprogram my brain into thinking otherwise has been one of my biggest failures ... right after the time I tried giving up potato chips for good.

I mean, I see a bag of potato chips lying around my house or at the grocery store and you can't expect me to not touch it reverently (seriously, is it my fault that one thing always leads to another?). Similarly, I see a striped shirt on someone, I automatically think "PA-RIS!!!" - with the hyphen and that exact number of exclamation marks.

Note that I said 'think', and not 'exclaim'. This is because I am not a moron and can tell the difference between reality and delusion.

BLOGLOVIN' / TWITTER / PINTEREST

Underworld: a Simple Guide to Decoding Underpants

Navigating the world of fashion without showing the entire country what your underpants look like is about as much fun as getting punched in the face. 

Thankfully (or unfortunately, depending on where you stand), I load up on way too many fashion magazines and reruns of Trinny & Susannah, which has culminated in the solid delusion that when it comes to VPLs (Visible Panty Lines), I know my sh*t. 

Please find below for your perusal, a guide to choosing the right kinds of underwear to slip on under different sorts of bottoms … Also known as Underworld: a Simple Guide to Decoding Underpants for easy referral when you’re discussing the relevance of this article with all your friends.

SHAPEWEAR/CONTROL BRIEFS

Source: Shopbop

 PROS: The wunderkind of all underpants. Smoothes and controls unforgiving bumps under your clothes. Makes you look slimmer. No VPL. A million different cuts from pants to skirts to bodysuits to choose from.

 CONS: A million different cuts from pants to skirts to bodysuits to choose from. Also, I don’t know if it’s just me or the brand of shape-wear I’ve got, but WHY IS IT SO HARD TO BREATHE IN ONE OF THESE THINGS?!

 WEAR UNDER: Fitted garments e.g. bodycon-dresses, pencil skirts, etc. Sheer clothes. 

 HISTORICAL EQUIVALENT: 19^th century whalebone corsetry.

TANGAS/THONGS/G-STRINGS

Source: Shopstyle

 PROS: No VPL, no matter how hard you try to make one appear.

 CONS: Wedgies.

 WEAR UNDER: Basically anything.

 HISTORICAL EQUIVALENT: Loincloth.

HIPSTERS

Source: thisnext

  
 PROS: Rides low on the waist - nobody will see your underpants peeking over the waist of your bottoms. Available in most cuts from bikinis to boyshorts.

 CONS: People are more likely to see your butt-crack instead. Possible VPL, depending on the cut of your choice.

 WEAR UNDER: Any bottoms that have a low-rise waist.

 HISTORICAL EQUIVALENT: Low-waisted ghaghras  (except not really, 'cos ghaghras are legit garments in India ... I didn't want to leave this one blank ... I was doing so well ...)

BIKINI

  
 PROS: Really comfortable. Good coverage.

 CONS: Despite what lingerie companies will have you believe, these are the most likely to give you VPL, even if they claim not to.

 WEAR UNDER: Whatever you like, if you don’t care about VPL.

 HISTORICAL EQUIVALENT: French knickers.

BOYSHORTS/BOYLEGS

Source: theiconic.com.au

 PROS: Full-coverage. No VPL.

 CONS: Has been known to ride up most uncomfortably.

 WEAR UNDER: Anything you like – but especially if thongs give you the heebie-jeebies, and shape-wear is too constricting.

 HISTORICAL EQUIVALENT: Men’s underwear.

GRANNY PANTIES

Source: Holy Taco

  
 PROS: Comfortable. Celebrities are making them the trend du jour (see here & here). Man repellent. 

 CONS: Man repellent.

 WEAR UNDER: Anything.

 HISTORICAL EQUIVALENT: ... I don't feel comfortable saying it.

GOING COMMANDO: THE LAST RESORT

Source: thisnext

 PROS: No fuss, no muss. No VPL.

 CONS: May get arrested for indecent exposure if not enough care is taken to ensure skirt or dress hems stay down. 

 WEAR UNDER: Anything ... as long as you're wearing something.

 HISTORICAL EQUIVALENT: Birthday suits.








Lastly, some additional tips you may or may not find helpful to remember in your battle against VPL and VPG (Visible Panties in General):

• Wear undies that are close in shade to your skin-colour under sheer garments.
• Find undies that aren't too tight across the butt-cheek - this is usually what causes VPL to rear its ugly head.
• If you stumble across seamless underwear, buy that stuff up like the world is ending, because seamless underwear is GOLD.

A little off tangent.

Hey C,

I don’t know if you remember a fleeting conversation we may have had an undetermined amount of time ago, that I could possibly have spoken about my dire need to purchase a pair of printed pants. 

I say this with such uncertainty because the amount of things that I have decided I must acquire in my lifetime is perhaps a little bit excessive (I suppose this is a good place to drop the hint to readers that we are convinced that one day, not far from now, we will be the proud owners of a herd of fainting goats).
  

Recently I splurged on a pair of these babies by Maurie & Eve. I’ve been coveting this print for awhile now because this colour scheme is genius. The white, the mint, navy, the geometric angles, the seemingly random brush strokes and some rose gold bling… Who are Maurie & Eve and what are they doing frolicking about in my happy place. 

Maurie & Eve Ruby Track Pant - Geo

Needless to say, one fateful night I was up way past my bedtime, eyes squinty from.. well, my overall lack of vision… and I obtained them (Paypal is devastatingly convenient), whether I would eventually wear them or not is irrelevant. 

However, I’m yet to wear them because:

1.     I don’t have appropriate undergarments (the buttock area is white)

2.     The weather as of late would have resulted in wet and stained hemlines (curse these wee trotters!)

3.     I don’t have appropriate undergarments. 

Now I kind of wish I bought the shirt... singlet... shorts? I actually kind of even wish they had bedsheets in this print.

Seriously though, what kind of delightful underwear do models wear with these clothes? Do they wear underwear at all? Is the word underwear inappropriate and incorrect? Should I be using the word panties instead? Thought provoking, I know. 

Should you (or anyone else) have the answers to this strenuous dilemma, do let me know so I can make full use of these gorgeous pants before the moths get to them *note to self: buy moth balls immediately*. 

 Hope all is well in your bite-sized fraction of the world!

- S.